Monday, December 22, 2008


I think I need a professional help, my brain can't stop from thinking, it just think, and think and think. It won't stop. It won't stop, it just think, and not feel. I am not anywhere near any state of happiness, before with just a little purchase, everything's okay, but a recent little purchase didn't do, might as well any purchase.

I wish I can just sleep and wake up not thinking, and not knowing anything to think of. Every morning it starts with a stressful ride on the MRT, everyday the operator would shout to the passengers to avoid pushing, refrain from force opening the door. It is just sick that people won't listen, it's everyday for the love of God, can't they just be humans for a second.

That's just not it, everything contributes to what I am thinking, about life, how to live. Life has been lived by humans many many centuries already but why can't we make it perfect, why is it always has to be a trial and error. Is it really worth to live a life? When in the end you'll just die like anyone else. I have lost believing in life, and what lies ahead, what it would offer. Is this really what God want us to experience? Am I thinking to much? If I am not to think what would I become? The thing that I fear the most is being unable, maybe, but well I don't know.

Hypocrites would probably advise me to pray, but that's just not enough, everything boils down to what I must do, what should be done, it's not just--- pray, then everything will happen, voila! God needs action.


nikki said...

well then, don't pray. PANIC! haha! everyone stresses. some, more often than the others but it makes the happy days happier my friend. embrace the stress that comes with a productive life and cherish the happy days to let you through the damp days. i hope you'd soon be happy. ai kagabi nga pala oo.. haha